150 East 58th Street, Fifth Floor Annex, New York, NY 10155 | (212) 308-2440

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Couples Therapy & Premarital Counseling

What Is Couples Therapy?

Couples often wait until their problems are quite severe before considering couple’s therapy. The strategies presented here are not only important for relationships in crisis but can be invaluable in repairing smaller conflicts or dissatisfactions.

couple hugging each other during therapy

According to research based on repeated interviews and observations of thousands of couples, John Gottman, PhD has defined several strategies and tools to transform your marriage or relationship.

  • Develop patterns of interaction that strengthen your relationship. For example, learn how to talk about a problem gently, without criticizing your partner and how to deescalate negative feelings during a difficult interaction with an apology, a smile, or a touch of humor that breaks the tension.
  • Recognize and modify damaging patterns of interaction in your relationship. For example, learn how to avoid global attacks on your partner’s character or personality when expressing dissatisfaction and to minimize defensiveness, anger and stonewalling when responding to a partner’s complaint.
  • Learn to share responsibility for the problem rather than blame the problem on your partner.
  • Notice your partner’s positive actions and tell them you appreciate what they are bringing to the relationship.
  • Learn how to identify and respond to the underlying longing in your partner’s complaints rather than getting into a pattern of attacking and counter-attacking.
  • Prevent issues of perpetual conflict such as differences in emotional expression, attitudes toward finances, togetherness and independence, or sex and intimacy from becoming gridlocked. Address these issues by making conversation the goal rather than finding the perfect solution, by recognizing there are no right or wrong answers and accepting you can live with the conflict peacefully even if it is never resolved.
  • Build connection in your relationship by scheduling weekly two hour “dates” away from your children to talk privately or an overnight getaway a few times a year when possible.
  • Consider taking up a regular activity you both enjoy or begin a project you can work on together.
  • Regularly update your knowledge of your partner’s life history, daily routines, values, likes and dislikes. Recognize that as our lives progress, we often change how we view ourselves, our priorities or our place in the world. Couples who maintain accurate information about their partner report greater happiness in their relationships and manage stressful life events better.

Relationship Skills Bootcamps

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Danielle Honigstein Kasturi, LMSW

AICT is excited to offer Relationship Skills Bootcamps, led by couples’ therapist Danielle Honigstein Kasturi, LMSW. These structured, six-week programs are designed to equip couples with practical, evidence-based tools for building and sustaining a healthy relationship. Each bootcamp draws on PREP (Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program), an empirically validated curriculum shown to improve relationship satisfaction and communication while reducing conflict and rates of separation.

Whether you’re an engaged couple looking to implement the foundational habits of a thriving marriage or have been together for decades and could use a relationship revitalization, our bootcamp will enable you and your partner to communicate more effectively, navigate conflict productively, and gain insight into one another’s expectations, goals, and values.

Over six sessions, you’ll meet two-on-one with Danielle for engaging, skills-based lessons and guided exercises, with ample opportunity to apply what you learn directly to your own relationship. Bootcamps are offered virtually or in-person to accommodate your preferences and availability.

 
Bootcamps for premarital couples will provide:
  • Practical and simple communication tools for difficult conversations
  • Ability to recognize and prevent destructive patterns 
  • Expanded trust, safety, and emotional connection
  • Insight into your partner’s relationship expectations, values, and goals
  • Renewed confidence in each other’s commitment to building a life together
  • Decreased risk of infidelity and divorce
Bootcamps for seasoned couples will provide:
  • Fortified and deepened trust, understanding, and emotional connection
  • Straightforward communication tools for navigating those sensitive subjects that never seem to get resolved
  • Strategies for bringing fun, playfulness, and friendship into your dynamic
  • Insight into discreet, destructive patterns in your relationship and how to stop them
  • Decreased risk of disconnection and betrayal
  • Mutual clarity and alignment on your vision for your future


Contact us at (212) 308-2440 or dhkasturi@cognitivetherapynyc.com to register. Free 15-minute consultation calls are available.